"So this is love. So this is what makes life divine. I’m all aglow. And now I know, the key to heaven is mine. My heart has wings, and I can fly. I’ll touch every star in the sky. So this is the miracle that I’ve been dreaming of. So this is love." -Cinderella
When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a princess and finding my true love. Disney movies fooled me into believing that you would have only one shot at this “love” thing. You see, every princess had only one prince. They never showed her going through reject after reject before finding her Prince Charming. What about Prince Douche Bag? Prince Cheater? Prince Liar? Prince Loser?
I learned the hard way that finding someone you really, truly love doesn’t come easy. The times I’ve ever told someone that I loved them had been premature. I guess either I thought that’s what love was suppose to feel like, or I felt that it was something I had to say because we had been together for a certain period of time. But what I’ve come to understand, looking back on my past relationships, is that I didn’t have enough experience to recognize true love.
Love. What the $%&* does that mean?! I know that I love my family. I know that I love my friends. And the love that I have for those people represents the place they hold in my life’s priorities. These people are the ones that will continue to grow with and make memories with. People who I can laugh with, cry with, and experience life with.
But what does it mean to love someone in a relationship?
The only thing I can tell you is what it is not. Love is not something you can buy. Just because someone buys you jewelry, expensive dinner and the latest technology fad, doesn’t mean they love you. Maybe some people feel that purchasing things at a high value shows that you are of value to them. But a ring can’t hug you after a bad day at work. A fifty dollar steak can’t be a shoulder to cry on. And an iPad can’t kiss you goodnight…at least the last time I checked, it couldn’t.
Secondly, love is not something you can be guilted into. When two people have been with each other for what they consider “a long time” there is this pressure that seems to come with that commitment of moving forward with the next step. I was watching American Pie the other day, and there was that scene with Vicky and Kevin. Vicky was in her room with long-time boyfriend, Kevin, and said that she wanted to take things to the next level. Kevin was more than excited about it because he though she meant having sex. Vicky then said, “I love you.” Unfortunately for Kevin, this was not what he, or his penis, had in mind. Kevin then explained how he wanted that moment of sharing “I love you” to be special. Cute. Cheesy. But really? I think he might have been saying that just to get her to sleep with him.
Which brings me to my next point: just because you are sleeping together, doesn’t mean that’s love.
There it is. So what the fairy tales fail to show little girls that dream of living the life of a princess are all of the struggles they have to go through to be with their true love. I think the only way to truly know if you are ready to tell someone you love them is to evaluate the times have said it. Maybe at the time you thought you were ready and that it was “right,” but looking back, can you say the same?
I have been in quite a few serious relationships, and I feel my experience in those relationships have given me the knowledge about love. I learned what love is not. And I also learned that I would not know what love is not, had I not had those bad experiences myself. Does that make sense?
I guess it’s true when they say you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince, and I feel my luck has just began to turn. I finally know what it is like to love someone and be loved in return. This mutual caring for one another has been making my life that much better. I’ve learned to love myself first and never settle for anything less, and now I have someone in my life that is adding to all of those good things I have established for myself.
Maybe that’s what love is…when it is full circle; not you loving someone and them loving you back, but you loving yourself first, and then having someone else love you too. I’ve never experienced that until this point in my life. That might be the reason why my love life is finally shaping into happiness, rather than frustration and confusion. There is no second guessing. It is all so effortless, yet I would do anything and everything to fight for it.
Being that my life is not a movie, my fairy tale is far from coming to an end. In fact, I think it’s only the beginning. But never the less, I will enjoy being a princess with my prince…even though he wants to be a King for a day ;)